What not to wear: the pregnancy edition

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Hi! Sorry for my absence. I've missed you! I thought I was just tired and recovering from Austin Fashion Week last week, but it turns out my thyroid levels dipped a little low (I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis). No worries, though! I went to the doctor this morning and got a little adjustment in my medicines, and I should be back to 100% tomorrow!

After my doctor's appointment, I went to Walmart to get my oil changed. I had an hour to kill, so I thought I'd show you some things that I've found do not work for a pregnant body. Laugh and enjoy!
romper
Don't tell me to just move up a size.
A- Rompers don't come in "maternity", and
B- This is a size large.


beershirt
Classy, Adams. Real classy. Makes you wonder, "Is that how she got pregnant in the first place?"

suspenders
I know that maternity pants (and pants in general) are hard to keep up and around a gestating womb, but nothing makes a pregnant body suddenly look like an old man's beer gut body like suspenders.

buttonup
Non-maternity button up shirts may seem harmless at first...
toosmall
but then one of your co-workers loses an eye due to a projectile button off your shirt.

bodysuit
You thought the combo of maternity pants and suspenders was bad? Obviously you have never seen the combo of maternity pants with a body suit. Um, just because you can squeeze into it doesn't mean you should wear it. Yikes!

Just for your peace of mind, please know that I do not usually sport outfits such as those above. No, sirree. Lately I've been in the tried and true combo of empire waist cotton dresses and sandals. Boring, yes, but at least I don't look like a nut case (or a cased sausage!):
typical
date: 26 August 2010
occasion: running errands
dress: Liz Lange Maternity (Target)
sandals: Target, like five years ago

Is there anything else that pregnant women shouldn't attempt to wear?
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